Mary and I have been together for very long time. And I love her I do. She’s everything I’ve ever wanted in a woman, she has a beautiful personality, she’s smart, she knows me better then anyone but I’ve never been with anybody else in my life. She was my first and only love. All throughout high school though I couldn’t help myself wondering what it be like to be with somebody else. I’m I’m I’m guilty of it. I look at other women, I do. And I feel really bad for it. But for the first time in my life I can fantasize about being with other woman and not feeling bad. And maybe even act on that fantasy!! I mean Mary and I.. We’ve had some good times….. Our sex life… Was okay. it wasn’t great but she was okay. I mean I’ve got nothing else to base it off of I guess—- you know? I thought sex was going to be this like amazing incredible life-changing thing and Mary and I we waited for a year and a half before we ever even thought about having sex and then we did it and it was just Like okay. That’s sex. That’s it. Yup. It’s good but it didn’t feel REALLY GOOD. And that’s what I’m looking for!!! I want to find that really good sex, you know? That sex that’s so good that it’s like a drug that is hard to quit. That can’t stop thinking about kind of drug. I want that sex that same-feeling that you feel when you watch a good porn video… I want that sex. And I think that’s why I’m so excited right now because now for the first time in my life I could go get that kind of sex.